Sad Ive been too busy for tumblr. Once Carson goes away ill be on again forever. Don’t leave me followersssss illlll be baaaaaackkkk
I don’t know
I feel like such a disappointment. Like all the god damn time. I feel like a terrible friend and I honestly feel like the worst girlfriend in the world.
For some reason I don’t feel good enough for Carson. I feel like I need him way more than he needs me and he really doesn’t believe me when I say that.
As for the doctors goes. I’m effing scared like really scared. There is something seriously wrong with me and I just now noticed it. I told my dad about how tired I was. All the time. no matter what amount of sleep I get or the consistency of sleep I get I’m just so worn. I can’t make it through the day. As long as I can remember this is how I’ve felt. I’m 18 and should be full of energy and ambition but I’m not. He’s really worried about me because that’s not the only thing. I know you’re like oooo big deal she’s tired. Try my heart skips a beat leaving me really breathless and dizzy, I bruise abnormally easy, I get constant headaches. When I’m tired it’s not just like blah. it’s like fuck you I’m going to hit you with a hypothetical Mac truck and watch you struggle to get through the day.
I don’t want to go because I’m so scared.
I over heard my parents talking and my dad said that he thinks it’s mono, hormonal disorder, or leukemia. My mom freaked out on him because all he does is sit in front of the computer and thinks he’s a doctor.
I’m scared.
If I find out what’s wrong with me how do I tell Carson, my best friends, my family?
My dad is forcing me to go to the doctors
Dr. Baldwin thinks there is something seriously wrong with me. He’s making me get blood taken. I FUCKING HATE THE DOCTORS.
My dad thinks Carson and I are going to be together for the rest of our lives. I mean if he can see it, YOLO.
Ha kinda ruined that with YOLO.
But seriously he talked to me for a good twenty minutes about my future and being with someone who appreciates me and likes the same things i do.
